November 8, 2018
On Saturday I said “I do” to the love of my life. It was a perfect day – sunny and 78 degrees with just the slightest wind that kept giving my veil playful movement. My friends and family were all there, and I was so happy. Even saying the word husband makes me feel giddy. But y’all I didn’t feel this way last week.
Last week I was a mess. I was constantly on the verge of tears because I was just so overwhelmed. Bless my sweet husband he tried his best to be supportive, but I was just a wreck. One minute I was telling him how much I loved him, and the next minute I was yelling at him because he wanted to wear brown shoes not maroon shoes with his Burgundy suit. Then I would be ashamed of myself for yelling at him, and cry because I felt like I couldn’t control my temper. And y’all I felt so alone. And guilty. I was convinced something was wrong with me. I mean what kind of bride behaves like this days or weeks before the wedding?
Well, as it turns out lots of brides.
I realized I needed some perspective. So I reached out to the women who had already done this. I just asked them “did you feel nervous leading up to your wedding?” One after another they told me their stories. I heard from women who couldn’t eat. From women who felt like they couldn’t breathe. And even from women who questioned getting married altogether. Every single woman I talked to had some variation of “I was a nervous wreck.” But then they all said the same thing. And this is the important thing.
As soon as each woman saw their honey on their wedding day everything was okay.
They were all right. Seeing Jeff on our wedding day changed everything for me. Everyone else melted away. It was just the two of us. This wonderful man had chosen me to love for the rest of his life. And I had chosen him. And in that moment nothing else mattered.
But I’m sharing the story leading up to that moment because it’s the truth. And I don’t want anyone else to feel alone. I don’t want anyone else to wonder if there’s something wrong with them. And I want to leave you with some advice that made all the difference to me.
Go on a date the week before your wedding and DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE WEDDING. Just talk about something ANYTHING other than the wedding. The two hours that Jeff and I did nothing related to wedding planning before our wedding were my favorite two hours of that week.
Y’all I hope that this leaves you knowing that you aren’t alone. Trust me I googled “why am I so anxious + getting married” too. But seriously, it’s cliche for a reason, everything will be okay. I think these end of the night smiles prove it!